Previous Competitions

 

 

"More Women's Work ? "
 

Extreme Lunatic Fry-ups, Do you know WHO I have to clean up after?? - Colin

 

 

"More Women's Work ? "
 

Think i'll be able to sing soprano when I get the other one out? - Stuart

" if you don't take that camera away it will be you I will be chopping Badger" - Chippy

Here's a nice shiney urinal. Stuart

Tonight Matthew I will be chopping in the style of Jamie Oliver - Chippy

 

 

 

 

"Women's Work ? "
 

Mum how come dad never uses a bowl like that one - Simon

Do you think we can make an Olympic sport of washing up - Simon

 

 

 

"Presidential Nuptials"
 

If we take away this one and leave another one in her place d’you think they’d spot the difference? - Brian

Dave says “right lads there’s a great big cake over there, I think we have to stand her on that!” - Stevey
The big penguin in front says "Cute and cuddly, boys, cute and cuddly !!" - MB
.....and the bride said "it all started with a spot on my bum and I have ended up with ELF piles" - Chip
Ok lads, Matt will never notice if we run to the pub over the road and get his Missus drunk - Brian
"Here, Matt, We’ve found you a bride!" - Corinne
Chippy Shouts" Oi !! crap conjurer !! Are you going to cut this woman in half or just drink more beer" - Chip

 

" En France encore un fois "
"Batty feels that the air guitar was so 90’s, he’s gone for an air banjo" - Stevey

" just squirt a bit of ketchup into that white plonk and we'll see if he can figure out what it is" - Terry
"Batty:- Oh b*gger! Someone’s nicked my sax" - Stevey
Whereas normally I would be sending in a caption for the competition, this time I am not.

At school they have a filter (annoyingly) and for some reason the caption competition page is filtered.

Maybe this is because there is a rude or even semi-rude word on there. If you could please change this possibly with *** or something, I would much appreciate it.

Vicky
 

 

" Camping "
.........so after several large Badgers, Brian decided to jump start his sleeping bag........... Terry
ok, so it took 2 children to work it out but Simon got the inflatable matress unrolled. and the small yellow R2 unit beside didn't help much. - Stevey
 

Typical one woman sitting on her Ar*** the other talking - Simon

 
 

Telscombe - Dec 04
"Right that’s the last time you fly a kite with more than one line Manky" - Simon
Should we offer Peter Lynn the plans?? - Lloyd
“HELP Corinne!!!!!” - Corinne
OK so Manky did fly a 4 line kite and not just drink beer, but look at the outcome. - Simon
"oh bugger, who undone my string vest!" - Peter Dawson
"I'll make a fine catch...." - Peter Dawson
"BKFA'a new press officer gets his lines crossed and finds himself in the news - again!" - Peter Dawson
"it seems to have go all limp!!!!" - Chippy
" and the kite said it started with a spot on my bum" - Chippy
"Right so she who must be obeyed has said I must give up kiting I’ve tried knitting now, NO WAY" - Simon
"Pink rainbow kite, wrist limp hand don’t you think Dave and I make a good pair" - Simon
It takes more that this to stop Simon buying the next round!!! - Peter

 

Teston - August 04
“Various friends and relatives get out of the way as ‘the mad bunch’ threaten to do something stupid” - Victoria
Charlotte says “will you lot get off us kids want a go”

Reply “get your own” - Corrinne

"It must have been hot Corinne is only in a t-shirt" - Simon
“New contenders for the next pop-idol, trying out the new test – can you sing whilst on a bouncy castle?” - Victoria

 

Kites over Capstone - August 04
 

 

"Oi - Manky - Show us your P.A." - Colin

He thinks its my feet he's got to watch, he's walking straight into my hairnet!! - Peter
Badger says to Meanie (in Scouse) "ere ave youze me submarine, it's yeela" - Dave
Meanine: " Bl**dy Hell someone as big as me" - Chip
Both say "Lunch" - Chip
Badger says "Scuze me, where's the beer tent." - Dave

 

Teston June 2004
Martin thinks "If he thinks he can use me as bait he's got another thing coming" - Chippy
Lisa has told me to practice putting on c----ms at every opportunity. When I orders an 8cm pole why I got the 8m one I don’t know. - Simon
I’ve got the long pole you put on the suit and were ready to move Dave’s socks - Simon
"El Presidente" is just sorting out the only way he can hoist his "mainbrace". - Chippy
"And I get the results when, Dr Matt?" - Tina

En France April 04

" Ooh Ooh Ooh the Funky Gibbon....." - Bryan
"I told you not to eat that last croissant!" - Victoria
Simon looking desperately for a Can opener or Olive Oil - Paul
Macdonalds only sell to stick insects (I am piddled) - Lisa
"And the chair said it all started with a spot on my seat " - Chippy
Yes we know you let rip, Japan just had a tidal wave!!! - Bryan
Simon realises the chairs in France are made for gnomes... - Lisa
Oh my God I thought I had wind and have s**t myself - Paul
"Simon! it's a chair, not a loo! The loo's are round the corner!" - Victoria
"While Simon was drinking his coffee the local traffic warden had whipped in and clamped his wheelchair" - Chippy
"Excuse moi, mon brave" Simon a dit, "Quel est les mots pour "fetch a shoe horn" - MB
But the winner must be:

"Just wait till I get this chair off and you're dead" - Simon
Appledore Beer festival Winter 03

Chippy hasn't quite figured out the whole "Mr Socko" thing. - Stevey
Chippy introduces Dave to a whole new take on soul food - Stevey
Dave's w*lly tries to escape another piercing' - Lisa
Dave reading sticker on Tina’s boot “you spent how much – that’s half a blade 9.4” - Simon
'Dave's trouser snake gets over excited at the sight of the young waitress in a short skirt...' - Lisa
Dave to Tina “Just you wait till I get you home, Kinky boots I’ll even put my stockings on for you” - Simon
Telscombe Tye September 03

"Don’t give teddy a BJ he’ll want one every time he goes up" - Simon
Team E.L.F's new Sport "Extra large Piñata"

Dave & Batty use long hooks to try and get Tina down. - Bryan

Tina gives Teddy a blow job whilst everyone looks on astonished (and somewhat jealous) - Lisa
Tina tickles Teddies tackle - Paul
No matter how hard he tried, Teddy couldn't help saying "Tina, while you're there .............." - Malcolm

Batman: "Tina, stop blowing up Teddy" - Malcolm
Tina: "Its a hard job to blow from this angle" - Margaret
Dave: "If we let go, Tina'll hit Teddy, and Teddy'll fall into the sea." Batman: "Perhaps Teddy'll keep Tina afloat!" - Victoria
Tina: "I want my Teddy" - Michael
Tina wondered if Teddy was a member of the "S.K.P" - Prince Albert
Summer 2003 - "Brighton Kite Festival"
No captions - they didn't survive the upgrade to Windows XP
June 2003 -"On the Beach"
"Next time you want to get big air and jump, bring a kite, my back hurts…. "- Rob
Dave thinking “how come I never get that lucky” - Simon
Andy to Dave "the doctor says it all started with a spot on my bum then I have grown a joseypimple" - Chippy

Easter 2003 -"On the Beach" (thanks to Paul for the piccy)

Simon to Dave "is that a rubber glove on your head"- Chippy

"Simon was beginning to regret challenging Satan to a duel" - MB

" So lets get this right 10 paces forward turn and launch a single line kite. Last one up and flying is a Puff"- Chippy
Spring 2003 -"Committee meeting"
El Prestidente: "If we dont become a proper single line kite club I'll thump you."

Simon

Andy: "Has this committee just passed a motion?"

Heather: "Of course - we don't always smell like that"

Dave
Xmas 2002 - "Equipment"
"I didn't realize the pictures were for *that* kind of website" - Clint
Batman says "Does this make my kn*b look big in this ?" - Jose
"Tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroo down...."Clint
"Batty holds his huge imaginary chopper while Jose gets ready with the bondage gear..." - Lisa
"Hey mate, it's not a bl**dy girdle so stop trying to look thinner" - Rick from Ontario
"Is that point and laugh???" - Tina
"Are you sure this "Bat Utility Belt" should be this tight?" - Batman
November 2002 - Luke Warm goes up in the world

Dave to Steve:"Keep a good hold, he's trying to fly away again" - Batman

I must stop him having beans for breakfast it help too much with the lift" - Simon
" James takes the Lead role in the Fat bloke players production of Peter pan" - Chippy
Chris : "I’m not going to take my hand out of my pocket to keep him down; I never liked Luke Warm anyway" - Simon
Bear to Dave "is it a fish on the line if yes can I f**k it and eat it" - Chippy

Lukewarm to Dave: "I f*rt in your general direction" - Lisa

Lisa "well I’m not helping I’m a girly type" - Simon
October 2002 - Telscombe Cliffs Fly -In.
I know Simon said that there kept cows in here but did you have to catch one - Simon

Right lads on three it's time to b*gger this up (Simon H).

" This new lead for the Ex wife works well":(Chippy)
Lisa looks on as Chippy tries to slice off Dave's head...(Lisa).
"What bait did u say u was using" (Simon)
Dave: So. If the green bit is the grass what are those yachts on? (Aik)
Chip: We make an incision here, here and here. A bit of nip and tuck, then in three weeks, no scars and the beer gut is gone forever.(Aik)
Lisa: You said you could dead launch a yellow Symphony from anywhere...(Aik)
Lisa: I'm bored now - can we take Godzilla home for a rest? (Aik)
If you insist on standing there, I WILL decapitate you. (Paul)
"Ladies and Gennelmen....... Before your very eyes.....Having passed this seemingly innocent piece of rope around their necks......All we require now is a sudden gust of wind..... and hey-presto..... You will see the wisdom of taking out AMPLE insurance before playing with kites!"
Sept 2002.....

" So Sir which way are we dressing today " (Chippy )

Jose and Lisa help Dave look for his lost balls...

Jose: 'They're in there somewhere...'

Lisa: 'Let's have a feel around...'

Dave: 'Damn harness...'

(Lisa)

"Where do you attach the break lines???" (God)

(We get some class people surfing this site, you know)

"Nora batty look-alike competition....you provide the scarf and stockings, we will do the rest..." (Alan)

" Lisa and Jose start a game of hunt the fart " (Chippy )
August 2002 - Teston Kite Festival

" the auditions for the new a food and drink show called The Bat and The Thin Bloke" (Chippy )

"OK lovies work with the camera" (Jose)
July 2002 - Lunch ?

"This replicated food isn't as good as they make it out to be on Star Trek...." (Lisa)

nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang nang (Dan)
June 2002 - Girlie-types

'when we said "if you want to have sex with us you'd have to get us wet" this is not what we meant '(Batman)

This month I am taking the moral high ground by not posting a caption

(Morally upstanding of Ashford)
May 2002 - Chris & Brian.....

Chris to Brian "Go on pull it and watch me fill my Battle Nappy" (Chip)

Chris to Brian..... "If you dont listen to me i will shove this up your arse!"(Luke Warm)
Who is saying what to whom ?

(Oh lar-de-dar)

"So what are the names of these reindeer again" - (Chippy)

Jose to Dave: "Are you starting on me?"

Dave to Jose: "Just because mine's bigger than yours!"

Chippy: "I think I killed it.... "(Lisa)

"Chippy, you stay still, when Jose says so I will fart and you just make sure you HOLD ON" (Luke Warm)
If Dave farts and takes off, do you think I'm going to be heavy enough to hold him (Batman)
Easter 2002

What is Chippy thinking ?
Is that jelly fish going to get me??? (Chippy)
"Now.....if i concentrate hard enough i can make Dave fly too"

OR

"Is Dave really walking on water?! Hmm...." (Luke Warm)

1.Oh! my my God! Quick call greenpeace, there's a beached whale!!!

2.Are those aliens getting out of that space ship?

3.Shit! there go my pants again (Matt)